Out of body experience
In 2001 I walked with my lunch on a tray in the company restaurant of one of the "big 4 firms". Under the guise of "work hard - play hard" I was really "popping", working more than 50 hours a week.
And then, during that lunch, I got these burning questions in my head. For the first time i had an out-of-body experience. "Is this it?" "Does this make me happy?"
Overwhelmed by all the colours, smells, sounds that I saw then, the conversations that I overheard from other tables, I no longer knew how and/or what. It was a very nice feeling to work, managing huge projects, being on top of things. Certainly… but in the long term? Is this worth it?
At that moment my search began consciously. I followed a business course Zen meditation. It made a huge impact. Since then I have devoted myself to Zen. There was even a moment of choice. To go all out for Zen and leave the business life for what it is. The solution turned out to be a combination of Zen practice and daily business life — the art of finding peace and happiness in the middle of everything and to sustain it.